You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘fall’ tag.

And now, a short post to completely (okay, kinda sorta) contradict parts of my last post.

I was walking back to the office after my usual afternoon walk when I noticed the leaves in the neighborhood had suddenly begun their seasonal change. I stood under one tree and looked up. The sun kept playing in between the branches, its light making me feel as if I were under a blanket of illuminated gold.

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And for a moment, I fell for fall.

Just a moment. 🙂

xo, with goodness and grace.

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How many years, in October, like clockwork, can a person proclaim she doesn’t like fall?

I know, I know. You’re going to ask me why. Why have I not fallen in love with your favorite season? You’re going to tell me how much you love Pumpkin Spice Lattes (nope, don’t like them), and chilly mornings (nope, not ready for them), and how you cannot wait for the snow that comes after autumn (nope, nope, and nope). I get it. You love fall.

If I could have two springs and two summers a year, I would be a happy girl.

There have been years where I did my best to embrace the change of season, where I allowed myself to be in awe of the beauty of trees ready to let go and shed their layers. But this year the chill came much too soon and the light began to fade much too early.

I feel the change in the air. I know it has arrived, and I am not ready.

I’m working on this.

But then I kept seeing this in my social media feeds.

 

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And this changed everything.

It’s a reminder of my mantra this year. Let go of what no longer serves you.

And so I do.  Just like the trees.

xo, with goodness and grace.

 

In autumn, nature sets about letting go of everything it doesn’t need. I used to say that I hated fall because everything is on its way to dying – whereas spring is about birth! Life! Light! – but I’ve determined that it may be time to revisit that point of view.

Though I always know it’s coming, every year I find myself unprepared for the cooler temperatures, the trees that are ablaze with color in the parks, and the crunch of fallen leaves underneath my feet.

It’s all inevitable. The world turns and it gives us four seasons. Fall is beautiful and magical and romantic. And yet I fight it. Every year.

Perhaps it’s too close a reminder – a denial, even – of all the things that I hold onto in my own life that have overstayed their welcome. All the things that clutter my physical space. All the ideas of who I’m supposed to be that are outdated.

So this year, I’m embracing fall by clearing it all out. The seasons shift, and I suppose it may be time to surrender to that change. Nature is letting go, and so should I.

The most logical place to start is my home, which has morphed into a place where I lay my head at the end of the day, rather than my sanctuary. I’m hoping that cleaning out my closets will help me to release the mental clutter as well.

Years ago, when I first moved into my tiny studio apartment after a months-long renovation, the electrician put the finishing touches on the chandelier he’d just hung, he paused and looked around.

“This is a dream,” he said. “A small dream, but a beautiful dream.”

It’s time to reclaim the beauty and grace of that dream.

This week’s change of season was precipitated by a wave of changes in the lives of people around me.

One of my colleagues got engaged.  Over the last few months, she’s been trying to convert a very reluctant me to join the world of online dating, telling me tales of her friends who met their mates online.  Now she has her own happy-ending case study to prove her point.

Another co-worker worked her last day, off to start a new life with her fiancé in a new city.  We’d developed the kind of friendship where we could just look at each other and know what the other was thinking.  She offered a sense of belonging when I’d gotten used to not feeling part of the whole.  I already miss her.

My favorite manager at my favorite restaurant responded to an email of mine with the news that he’s moving on to another job in another restaurant.  He was a big reason why I’ve become a regular—often bringing my favorite drink before I’d ordered, remembering my love of truffles, and laughing in conversations where we caught up on each other’s lives.  All of it made the delicious food taste even better. I will continue to go, but I already know that something will be missing.

As for me, nothing dramatic happened.  (Though, I did buy— and wear—a pair of skinny jeans for the first time in my life.  And I looked good in them.  I suppose if there was ever a life-altering moment, that would be one.)

But, I feel that something is shifting in me.  Somehow I know I’m not at the crossroads any longer.  My footsteps are traveling down a new path, though I cannot see where the road is leading just yet.  As I wait for that shift to manifest itself in my life, I remain present and focused on following the joy.

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Change is in the air.  I’m just going with it, with love in my heart, as I wait to see what’s on the other side.

There are days when it feels like grace won’t find you.

These are days when it feels like good things are happening for everyone but you. When everyone has exactly what you want, even though you never knew you wanted them before they showed up in front of you, taunting you with their charm. When there’s a hunger so deep that it seems like nothing will ever satisfy it.

There is a squirrel playing high above the ground in the tree next to me as I sit writing from a park bench; he’s probably searching for acorns that he’ll stow away. Fall is approaching on the tail end of each breeze, its presence almost insistent even though the calendar still reads as summer. The lamp posts are already on, even though they lit up a full hour later just a few weeks ago.

Transitions come, naturally occurring miracles in each day. Possibly, it’s the transitions we need to trust, in all of their natural glory, instead of relying on what we think we need. Maybe, it’s the natural flow that we should allow in our lives, instead of fighting what is right in front of us. Likely, what we have is exactly what we need.

Perhaps that is grace.

Fall has always been my sad season. The slower pace of July and August gives way to busier, more hectic days. Nature’s life cycle begins to come to an end.

I’ve always preferred the newness of spring and the heat of the summer.

This year, for some reason, I found myself charmed by the signs of autumn everywhere.  Shades of auburn dominate the trees and bushes, lending a cozy feel to the atmosphere.  The air smells of a pungent earthiness, and its chill feels welcome on my skin.

Walking through Central Park, I felt awe at all of the beauty around me.  It was as if I’d forgotten what I hadn’t liked about this time of year. I suddenly discovered a new appreciation for the season.

It felt intoxicatingly magical.

Of course, the angels are always looking out for us, no matter what the season.

Wherever you live, go outside, look around and take in the beauty around you.

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