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The other day, I overheard a conversation of a few of my coworkers.  One was lamenting the fact that her birthday was the day before.

I heard her say: “I’m sooooo OLD now!!!”

The reply: “Well, how old are you?”

The near hysterical answer: “25!!!!!!”

Then yesterday, I was running errands in the rain and escaped into a popular restaurant to grab a quick lunch. Popular in New York City usually means it’s too crowded to walk in and get a table, so I sat at the bar.  I’ve come to love sitting there because the bartenders are sweet and kind and always have great recommendations.  As the brunch crowd thinned out, the bartender came over and charmingly asked if I wanted more food, in the way a good server will because they know how to read people.  A simple, “Would you like to see the food menu again?” really translates to, “I can tell you aren’t hungry anymore, but of course you want more and I’m really cute, so I’m going to get you to order something else.”

I chose his recommended dessert, which he’d raved about and said he’d be ordering for his birthday in a couple of weeks.  I asked him what birthday he’d be celebrating.

He stopped, smiled uncomfortably, then heaved a deep sigh.  “32.”  He said this as if 32 made him an old man.  He went on to explain how difficult 31 had been. He, who presents an open, cheerful demeanor, now seemed weary and worn down by life.

Weariness of age seemed to be the theme of the week.

Coincidentally, I’ve been thinking about my life and what I want from the next few years. What I really, really, really want.  Like, really want.  (I’m still working on that.)  But I’ve been looking at it a little differently than the friends I just mentioned.

I’m 44.  I’ve never felt a need to hide my age.  I’ve never defined myself by my age.  I’ve never shrunk who I am because of my age.  But—and this is perhaps the most positive but I have ever written—as I get older, I feel a need to be true to myself and to not betray my needs or what I want in the deepest part of my soul.

In that regard, I look at age as an incredible gift.

This quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald was making the rounds on all my social media sites this week and affirms this.  It made me scream, YES.

Fitzgerald Quote

I embrace my age because it just means possibilities are in front of me, not fewer—because I know more of what not to do.  I honor myself because I can still turn it all around at any given moment—and the beauty of getting older is now I know I can.

I hope you find the courage to feel your age in the most beautiful way possible. And to embrace it for all its worth.

xo, with goodness and grace.

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