We are constantly invited to be who we are.

–Henry David Thoreau

This week I was called out as not living authentically.  A simple question about room temperature led to an interesting exchange.

“I didn’t ask you if it was fine,” she said, “I asked if you it was too hot for you.”  She said I had a habit of saying everything was nice and fine (“What is it with you and that??”).  I just made due with whatever was happening and—here’s the kicker—I wasn’t being authentic in what I was saying.

Well.  While I did feel perfectly comfortable, she had a point.

This led me to think about how recently one of the managers of my new favorite restaurant (and one of the loveliest people I’ve met in a long time) mentioned that he saw I was now following them on Twitter, and he checked out this blog from the link that’s on my profile page.  My reaction was, surprisingly, thinly veiled mortification. Now, while I want people to read these posts and to share in the goodness of life, I’m always taken aback whenever someone says that they’ve read my words.  It feels like they’ve had a peek into my diary, or, worse, my head.  Perhaps that’s because this is where I try to be my authentic self.

All of this gave me pause and caused me to think about who I really want to show up as in the world.  Here’s what I discovered: the truth is sometimes we are so busy surviving life that we don’t remember to live it.  We go into hiding, all the while in plain sight.  Or at least I have.

If I’m going to live out loud, then I may as well be comfortable with it.  If I’m going to own my voice and stand in the power of who I am, then I need to live — and speak and BE — as authentically me.

So, I’m beginning by making room for myself in my own life.  Work, obligations and the noise of the outside world has taken over, leaving little room for me.  I’ve always been a seeker, and now I’m seeking for some space.  Space for me where honesty and grace and joy resides.

Joy is in the details, but it is also in the simplicity of life.  I’m looking to joyful moments as markers on my path to authentic goodness.

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